The Parami of Renunciation

This is the third in a series on The Ten Paramis, based on a talk offered by
Brenda Frechette at Prescott Insight Meditation, January 27,  2026


Let’s start out this evening with chanting the Karaniya Metta Sutta
This sutta can be found in the Sutta Nipata (S.N. 1.8)

There is an oral story passed down through the ages about the circumstances under which Buddha offered the Metta sutta instructions to 500 monks (500 in these stories just means A LOT).  Buddhadhassa wrote the story down in a commentary in the 5th century.  As the story goes these 500 monks were offered this beautiful grove for their 4 month rain retreat that year.  The monks were welcomed in by the community nearby and even provided with small single meditation huts---so it seemed to be the perfect place for meditation.  BUT soon they were assailed by difficult conditions that greatly challenged their concentration and ability to meditate.  So they went to Ananda---Buddha’s main assistant and cousin—and asked for a different place to be found.  Ananda conveyed this request to Buddha, who said the monks should remain at this site---but also gave them the teaching of the Karaniya Metta Sutta.  Kariniya means “that which should be done” so this is a clear instruction by the Buddha of how to practice in difficult times and circumstances.  The Metta sutta is considered a paritta---a protection practice---and could be considered a practice to develop resilience in turbulent times.

So as we chant this sutta slowly, I would invite you to take in the instruction as the direct words of the Buddha: 

The Buddha’s Words on Loving-Kindness (English)

(Now let us chant the Buddha’s words on loving-kìndness.)
[This is what should bè done]
By one whò is skílled in gòodness and who knows the pàth of peace:
Let them bè able and úpright,
Stràightforward and gentlé ìn speech,
Humble and not concèited,
Còntented and éasily sàtisfied,
Unburdened with dùties and frugal ín thèir ways.
Peaceful and calm, ànd wise and skíllful,
Nòt proud and demánding in nàture.
Let them not dò the slíghtèst thing
That thè wise would latér rèprove,
Wishing: In gladness ànd in sáfety,
May àll beings bé àt ease.
Whatever livìng beings there mày be,
Whether thèy are wéak òr strong, omìtting none,
The great or the mìghty, medium, shórt, òr small,
The seen and the ùnseen,
Those living near and fár àway,
Those born and tò bé born,
May àll beings bé àt ease.
Let none deceivè ànòther
Or dèspise anỳ being in ánỳ state.
Let none through anger or ìll-will
Wish hárm upon anòther.
Even as à mother protects with hèr life
Her child, her ònlý child,
So with a bóundless heart
Should òne cherish all lívìng beings,
Radiating kíndness over thè entírè world,
Spreading upwards to the skíes and dòwnwàrds tò thé depths,
Outwards and unbòunded,
Frèed from hátréd and ìll-will.
Whether standing or wàlking, seated or lýìng down,
Free from dròwsiness,
One should sùstain this rècolléction.
This is said tò be thè sublíme abìding.
By not holding to fìxed views,
Thè pure-héartèd one, having clarity of vìsion,
Being freed fròm all sénse-desires,
Is not bórn ágain intò this world.

The following link will take you to the Parayana Vihara’s website and the chant book offered there:
https://parayanavihara.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Chanting-Book.pdf

These chants are provided in both Pali and translated into English by Amavarati—a western monastery in England in the Theravada Ajahn Chah tradition.  

So tonight’s talk is about the parami of renunciation.  The metta sutta is pointing to the joys and benefits of living with simplicity---renunciation. The Pali term for renunciation is Nekkama.  It’s helpful for me to look at renunciation as a letting go of clinging---but clinging to what?  On one level it can be looked at as letting go of the material.  Classically Buddha’s renunciation was leaving his homeland, giving up wealth, possessions and family relationship to enter the ascetic life of a wandering monk.  

When Buddha was born, Brahmin priests predicted he would either be a great king or a spiritual leader.  His father preferred the great king path---so he proceeded to shelter Shakyamuni Gautama from the suffering in life and provided him with great wealth, a harem---immersed in the vibrancy of youth and abundance.  But one day Shakyamuni ventured from the palace and experienced what are called the four heavenly messengers.  He saw someone that was aging.  He saw a person that was very ill.  And he saw a dead body.  It is said he was shocked that old age, sickness, and death would happen to everyone---no one is immune.  The fourth heavenly messenger was a monastic that was glowing with contentment and peace---how could this be-- given everyone would get ill, age, and die?  This arose great curiosity to follow this path and Shakyamuni Buddha stole away in the middle of the night---leaving the wealth, his wife and son, and parents to explore the spiritual path.  This is called the first renunciation of the Buddha.  

But the path of renunciation doesn’t require physically or materially giving up something----a deeper (and often more difficult) practice is resolving to let go of the mental experience of clinging to our attachments---that experience of being hooked by what is pleasant, caught in our aversion and negativity,  or stuck in our self righteous belief system.  All the things that Buddha pointed out that cause us suffering.   Can we become willing to give up the mental processes that increase and cause us suffering?  These are called the three poisons or the three unwholesome roots---attachment, aversion, and delusion.  

Buddha taught the first step is to lift our veil of delusion and recognize the suffering we are immersed in---the first noble truth.  This is actually pretty hard to do unless one has some faith in this process---it can be very painful to face the uncertainty of impermanence---hence why we started out with the Metta Sutta instruction of how to be with adversity and difficult circumstances.  It can be easy to otherwise slip into despair and nihilism. 

In some ways I find the second noble truth easier to work with---there is a cause of our suffering.  Here Buddha was pointing to how we exacerbate the suffering (dukkha) that is uncovered in the first noble truth.  We make it worse by clinging to our attachments, aversions, or constructed beliefs of how things should be.  Buddha provided clear instructions of how we can interrupt this cycle.  He suggested as we become aware of our sense experiences---sights, smells, tastes, body sensations, sounds---that we also are mindful of the feeling tone we experience----is this pleasant? Unpleasant? Or neither pleasant or unpleasant---the elusive neutral?  This is referred to as Vedana in Pali.  The thing is this is an EXTREMELY slippery slope.  Pleasant can quickly slide into craving and then to full on grasping and inability to let go.  Aversion---I really hate when that happens!  Or when they do that!  I can’t stand it!  So we can really hold onto our aversion to something happening also.  

This is one of the reasons we practice meditation to settle the mind enough to be aware of the Vedana before it shifts into craving (called tanha) and definitely before we are hooked into grasping (upadana.) Of course one can also work with this in the reverse----we notice we are really hooked by something pleasant or something we are really disliking and we just are aware of how tightly we are holding onto that experience.  That’s back to the first noble truth---awareness that there is suffering.  And if possible, you can see if there is a way to loosen the grip a bit---or at least poke some holes into it to create a bit more space.  This too is a practice of renunciation.  

The suttas discuss three main categories of tanha (craving).  Craving arising from our sense desires, craving for becoming, and craving for not becoming.  We can notice how we want more or less of something we are experiencing through the senses.  And our culture really fosters the craving for becoming---the experience of never quite having enough.  Maybe if I get that job? Or that relationship? Or that experience? Of course setting goals can help us flourish, but getting caught in it and grasping for it can especially prevent us from also noticing what we are grateful for in this moment.  The craving for not becoming can manifest as a yearning for escape and annihilation---the intoxication and numbness that comes with addiction for example, or escape of what feels unbearable through suicide, or even escape through a spiritual bypass of repressing discomfort through meditative concentration.  

There can be great relief in letting go----although when we are hooked by something it seems impossible to do.  There is a sutta about a lay practitioner (named Tapussa) who went to Ananda to ask the Buddha how can a non monastic discover the joys of renunciation when we are immersed in the daily life of sense pleasures.  This is Tapussa talking to Ananda: (Anutta Nikaya 9.41)

"Venerable Ananda, sir, we are householders who indulge in sensuality, delight in sensuality, enjoy sensuality, rejoice in sensuality. For us — indulging in sensuality, delighting in sensuality, enjoying sensuality, rejoicing in sensuality — renunciation seems like a sheer drop-off. Yet I've heard that in this doctrine & discipline the hearts of the very young monks leap up at renunciation, grow confident, steadfast, & firm, seeing it as peace. So right here is where this doctrine & discipline is contrary to the great mass of people: i.e., [this issue of] renunciation."

Surprisingly when they asked Buddha to advise about this---he did not push Tapussa to forcibly renunciate the senses.  He acknowledged it would be hard to do this if one hasn’t experienced the third noble truth---the cessation of suffering that comes with the release of craving.  He noted this is why the monastics report joy arising with renunciation and living in simplicity.  Going back to the Metta sutta---many of the phrases point to this.  Contented and easily satisfied, not burdened by duties, not caught in judgment of others or self, being in equanimity, all beings held in love without comparison.  This is what the teachings point to and what renunciation can lead to.  But without experiencing it for yourself---there is little joy or confidence in letting go.  It does take a leap of faith to try it out.  

Buddha suggests in the Tapussa Sutta to just be curious and try working with the edge of one’s experience.  Be curious, listen, attend---how does it feel to hold on to something—just notice and be with that experience.  He does not suggest forcing oneself to let something go.  And we know for ourselves how that doesn’t work very well.  How often I have I been caught in an internal dialogue of “just be over it…why can’t you just let it go? Get over it already!”  Forcing a letting go can just solidify the experience even more.

This is one of the benefits of going on retreat.  One takes on the monastic life for a brief time and it is possible to get a taste of the joy of renunciation.  One takes either the 5 precepts or the 8 precepts.  Kenn discussed the 5 precepts last week in his talk about sila or ethics. Not taking life, not stealing, not speaking harshly or harmfully, not engaging in harmful sexual activity (on retreat---no sexual activity), not taking intoxicants that can foster the previous 4 harmful actions.  On monastic retreats they also suggest 3 more precepts---not engaging in entertainments or adornments that would be distracting to the mind, not sleeping in a “high lofty bed” (which I think mostly means don’t be lazy and sleep a lot), and don’t eat anything after Noon.  So these 8 precepts provide a container of renunciation on a Theravada retreat.  I suspect these suggestions arose gradually for monastics as it was noticed what kind of behaviors end up causing harm.  Just as rules and regulations develop in most organizations.  The 8 precepts are the core renunciation practices BUT monks in the Theravada tradition actually have 227 vows!  And nuns in that tradition have 311! 

  I notice when I go on retreat there is at least a short experience of letting go of my usual routine---simplicity, reliance on the retreat schedule, silence, a letting go of cell phones, laptops, and news.  Just being with what arises in the mind-body.  AND then you see how even under very pleasant conditions one’s mind can shift into craving and aversion---and you get the opportunity to work with the deeper practice of mind fabrication that we can get hooked by.  Judging, comparing, caught in wanting things to not be a certain way or to be a certain way.  And if you have the good fortune of letting the mind fabrication go (this creative fabrication in Pali is called papanca), you might even experience the true joy of renunciation.  The cessation of suffering and the experience of contentment and being easily satisfied.  

I ended this talk with a discussion of the Four Wise Efforts in the Thana Sutta, A.N. 4,115  This is an AI summary of this practice: 

The Four Wise Efforts (or Right Exertions, sammāppadhāna) are essential, proactive mental trainings to achieve enlightenment by managing mental states. They involve preventing unwholesome states, abandoning existing ones, cultivating new wholesome states, and maintaining existing positive ones. 

The Four Wise Efforts:

• Preventing (Samvara): Generating desire to stop negative, unwholesome, or unskillful states (e.g., greed, anger, ignorance) from arising.
• Abandoning (Pahāna): Actively letting go of unwholesome states that have already arisen.
• Developing (Bhāvanā): Cultivating and encouraging the arising of new, wholesome states and positive mental habits.
• Maintaining (Anurakkhanā): Sustaining and perfecting wholesome states that are already present in the mind. 

These efforts, part of the Noble Eightfold Path and 37 factors of enlightenment, require consistent mindfulness, energy, and discrimination between skillful and unskillful thoughts. They are considered "right" because they lead to reduced suffering and increased well-being. 


Discussion:
I’m writing up this talk from memory so unfortunately will not recall all that was discussed about working with the paramis.  So apologies for not covering it all.

I asked Sharon S to remind us of how she views renunciation---“letting go of what doesn’t serve me.”

There was discussion about working with generosity (dana) and the opening of the heart that arises from that.

There was a comment arising from the phrase in the Metta Sutta saying “unburdened by duties” and an acknowledgment of how hard it is to feel like one is doing enough about the suffering in the world—and in fact feeling guilty that one can’t do enough, even though one is very engaged and doing a lot.  We acknowledged how painful circumstances can be and how our efforts can result in a feeling of hopelessness and despair.  I suggested an edge to work with is noticing if we have expectations about results arising from our actions.  This may be an area where we can loosen our grip---just being with the experience of wise action without knowing the outcome.  And another important aspect is to remember we aren’t alone in our concern or our wise action.  Both Thich Naht Hahn and the Dalai Lama speak about the one thousand arms and one thousand eyes of Avalokiteshavara (symbolizing compassion) that respond to the suffering in the world can also be looked at as the arms and eyes (and hearts) of the sangha.  We can respond together—in community.

I shared a renunciation practice I do every new year in the spirit of resolutions.  I take on the practice of a word that reminds me of wise action.  Since I have a tendency to grasp onto things I desire---my words this year are Mudita and Discernment.  So instead of my tendency to want the things others have for MYSELF---I challenge myself to consider Mudita—being happy for others abundance and success.  And discernment----with all the desires that arise---what do I really need versus just want---what will be a wise direction or choice versus just accumulating more---or being caught in things as they are not being enough?