The Freedom of Not Knowing: Be a Beginner Againner

by Kenn Duncan
A dharma talk given April, 2024

A practice mostly known from the Zen tradition, but making its way into the western practices, is the practice of not knowing. A not-knowing mind, or sometimes referred to as a beginner’s mind.

It is the mind that is innocent of preconceptions and expectations, judgments and prejudices. A mind that is just present to explore and observe and see “things as they are.” It’s kind of like facing life like a small child, full of curiosity and wonder and amazement. “I wonder what this is? I wonder what that is? I wonder what this means?” Without approaching things with a fixed point of view or a prior judgment, just asking “What is it?”

I heard notes of this practice first from Gil Fronsdal, and explored a little bit some of the teachings of Zen Master Suzuki Roshi, but dug deeper a few years back after a Frank Turner concert.

Frank Turner:
“Today’s day and age and with all the new social media craze - we spend a lot of time disagreeing with each other and holding our ground no matter what we really know or don’t know…"
He suggests that we try using this expression “I don’t know”…  “as we get older we start to realize that we don’t really know anything about anything and neither does anybody else.” 
Secondarily, “I’ve changed my mind”, letting go of what we think we know to open ourselves up to a new understanding or way of thinking. 

“Take a Breath, try these for size…I don’t know, I’ve changed my mind, between life and death we’ll find the time to get it right”.
– Frank Turner from “Get It Right”

Suzuki Roshi notes in his book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s there are few.”

Not knowing, we meet our experience with a mind that simply doesn’t know, that is open to possibility, that has some wonder, that is not demanding a situation to be a certain way or a person to be a certain way, not requiring ourselves to be a certain way, not putting limits on things, not contracting with our thoughts. A not-knowing mind can be relaxed with how things are, and is spacious and relaxed.

So if we are approaching from a not knowing mind, we come with no preconceived ideas or fixed ideas, and that can sometimes be useful in the big questions in life… like what happens to me after I die? Is there rebirth?  I don’t know.  We often live as though we have lots of time… but really we don’t know. So, how do we take that into account? How might the way we live our life change if we consider that we don’t know?

The practice is to find comfort in the not-knowing mind.  In doing this we allow things to be as they are, at that time, in that place.
It creates a sense of wonder of things – I wonder – just rest in the wonder of things, the idea that we can explore and not need to have an answer.

Socrates said, “Wonder is the beginning of wisdom” … “the only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing...”

Knowing or being convinced that one knows can, in and of itself, create suffering.  The idea of clinging to an idea, a concept, of what something is or isn’t, who someone is or isn’t – even yourself – causes stress.

Who am I?  What is this?  The questions themselves are important.  In answering I don’t know to these questions, both the questions and answer become a powerful way to liberate ourselves from the mental constructs that we put on the world every moment of every day.  Answering “I don’t know” can expose our labels and constructs and can give us, even just for a moment, a direct, unvarnished encounter with the present moment.

Who am I?  What immediately comes to mind, being honest, when you ask yourself this question?  For most one might say, I’m a male, or female, or gender diverse, maybe one would answer I’m a Christian, Muslim, a Buddhist.  I’m Italian, German, American.  I’m white, or black, or brown.  I’m big or small.   I’m old, or I’m young.  

One might identify with a profession: I’m a musician, a creative, a banker, a teacher, an artist.  Or maybe we use our fashion, the way we dress, to define who we think we are. There’s a saying: “Some people pay more attention to the way they dress than to the things they say”. Should it be the other way around?

But none of these answers tell us who we really are, and if we are truly honest with ourselves the answer is really, I don’t know.  These other answers only tell us how we have chosen to identify ourselves.  They’re mental constructs, but what do they have to do with the deeper reality of our own being?  And these answers can cause a certain stress around the labels, a need to live up to the constructs.  Further, we may pass judgement on ourselves and those around us, creating labels that define those by the constructs we, or society, places on them – again, more stress.

As long as we are getting used to answering I don’t know to who am I?, what about our partner or parent or child?  What if we dropped those assumptions of the people closest to us and extend out to friends, neighbors, grocery clerks?  Who are they?  Do we know?  Moving out to our community, our country, our world?  Our perceptions of each other are filtered through our own ideas and emotions, and to some extent they are flawed. You can start to see the importance of these questions Who am I? What is this?,  and how they cultivate mindfulness.

I know this is walking the line of the Buddhist thought and teachings of non-self.

So let’s move to further questions: if we don’t know who we are, how do we know who or what anyone or anything else is?  Do we really know what a facet is, a computer monitor, a cell phone, a light switch?  Leading to the question of What is this?  And how about feelings and emotions, the ability to ask What Is This?  And again answering I don’t know can lead one to more investigation.  Even if you feel like you know the answer, still, the answer I don’t know can lead to a powerful path of exploration.  

I don’t know – this is a direct way to allow us to experience life without the usual ideas and concepts standing in the way.  It can provide a clear direction for our practice.  Having the courage to ask the questions and not settling for the answer you may already know, keeping the not-knowing mind going.  

“Knowledge is too final. Not knowing lets you dream a little.” ― Shaun Hick, The Army of Five Men

It can be scary to cut loose from our mooring, but it can also be an open door to freedom. And it is important to note that, in working with a Not Knowing mind, we are not giving up knowledge and wisdom.  We are simply opening to the possibility of a change of mind, a freeing of our concepts and beliefs.
Roshi – “Not knowing doesn’t mean you don’t know”.  It doesn’t mean you have to forget everything you know, but you can begin to recognize the ways in which knowing has gotten in your way. There could be a way to carry with us the things we do know, but not hold on to that too tightly, so that we are ready for things to be different.  

There is an important place for knowing, but there is also an importance to not knowing. There are many layers of beliefs and opinions in our minds, but explore the idea of I don’t know as these arise.

This not-knowing mind, beginner's mind, creates a sort of path to the freedom of not being tied to the concepts and perceptions about ourselves, others and even things.  Letting go of those things we might be clinging to, that we use to define, allows the stress of holding onto those things be reduced or even eliminated.

If we can truly answer I don’t know, if we keep ourselves open and free of concepts and ideas, we can approach each moment of our lives with freshness.  We can see what is happening in the present moment without assumptions about the past or ideas about the future.

Closing Meditation:
So if you choose, let's move this into our practice using the breath.  Actually referring to the breath with these questions, with our in–breath, what is it?  Just for now assume that you don’t know, take an in-breath with that assumption.  Just allowing yourself to be present with that in-breath, and with the pause between the in-breath (what is it?) and then with the out-breath, hold the realization that you don’t know, I don’t know what breathing is, or what not-breathing is.  
You can practice with the breath, asking who am I?  What is this?  With each in-breath, and answering I don’t know with each out breath.

Sit and take note of every thought that comes: just a mention of don’t know.

For now, embrace the not-knowing. Cultivate your beginner’s mind. Be willing not to be an expert. Be willing not to know. Not knowing is nearest. Not knowing is most intimate.