Welcome Everything, Push Away Nothing

by Carol Russell
Adapted from a talk given at Tuesday night meditation on June 3, 2025

The title of my talk tonight comes from the second invitation in Frank Ostaseski’s book, The Five Invitations. Similar to my last talk, in which I used the first invitation from his book for a talk entitled ‘Don’t Wait,’ I will use the point of view of welcoming everything and pushing away nothing as a jumping off place for this exploration of the Dhamma. 

Welcome everything, push away nothing – what are we welcoming and why would we want to do that?

I don’t know about you, but I have a very old habit of trying to improve or ‘fix’ what I don’t like, and that often involves a lot of pushing and grasping, and not a lot of welcoming. Does that sound familiar to anyone? There is nothing inherently wrong with making things better, but when we leap into that habit as soon as things get uncomfortable, does it limit us? 

Life is both lovely and awful. Both sweet and terrifying.  Why would we want to move closer to ALL of life, especially when it is uncomfortable? Why not move closer ONLY to the joyful, peaceful, and positive parts of life? Why not hang out only with the people who make us feel good and avoid the rest? 

The Dhamma teaches that denying or pushing away our experience is a sure path to suffering. It is right there in the Four Noble Truths. Clinging to what is pleasurable and pushing away what is unwanted is so human, yet it is a limiting and stressful way of living. 

Welcome everything, push away nothing. It’s not that we only welcome the nice thoughts and feelings. And it’s also not like we should focus only on the uncomfortable stuff, although the negative bias of our brains sometimes goes down that road. We don’t have to like the ‘everything.’ Everything includes what we like, what we don’t like, what’s boring, what’s pleasurable and not pleasurable and all the in-between.

Does this mean we are a doormat, letting every person or experience walk all over us, and welcoming it? Nope. Paradoxically, being utterly receptive means we are free. Free to respond skillfully and responsively. Free to set boundaries. Free to pursue what is in line with our highest aspirations. As Frank Ostaseski writes, ‘Acceptance is not resignation. It is an opening to possibility.’ 

Have you ever noticed how if we are rejecting parts of our experience, that takes a lot of energy and focus?  Keeping up a persona takes a lot of energy.  Yet, through a lifetime we have perhaps believed that was the way to well-being. It can be exhausting.

As we loosen up our clinging and attempts to control our experience, we learn our well-being is not completely tied to external circumstances, and then maybe we feel a bit more centered in ourselves, a little more resilient, and we get more adept at meeting every little bit of life as it comes our way. This is very a very practical and useful way to be.

And we move closer to the mystery of what it is to be human, and rather than one sliver of the pie, we open the whole range of possibilities available to us in this embodied earthly life.

Read More